Yesterday when I was at my physiotherapist it happend something that really scared me. She had made a dubble booking for my appointment. Ok, that isn't so wierd everyone can do a fault, but it was the way I respond it that really frightened me. When she told me I started to cry, screaming and yelling. I told her she was so cruel, that she ruin my life and so on. I think she was very astonished over that because I have always been a sensible and calm girl. I practically never lose controll! I got all these destructive thoughts. Like I have to die, be invisible, be thin and cut my arm off. And everything just because of an appointment that is exposed 20 min!!! That just shows how dependent I am of my outline. Everything has to be punctual like I have planed the day befor..

Vandringen

Tenk deg en lang reise

En reise som du ikke vet hvor ender

Du vil bort

Men står bare på stedet hvil

Du er lammet av frykt

Du er skrekkslagen av synet på din egen kropp

Har lyst til å gråte

Men kan ikke

Kan ikke vise at du er svak

Må være sterk

Ingen må se hvordan du har det

Du må skjule alt som gjør deg til deg

Må bli usynlig

Må bli tynn

before - after

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